Little Girl's BIRTHday!

WARNING: This is L.O.N.G. I mean really, really long. There are lots of pictures and ramblings. Continue with caution.

We're baaaaack! I haven't forgotten, I've just been drowning in pictures while trying to decide which ones to post. We've taken around 1,200 pictures so far and a lot of them are post-worthy (at least I think they are). And as many of you know, I'm indecisive as it is...so this was a struggle. So tonight, I finally went through and picked out a few a ton of them to post. However, instead of posting them all in one post, I'm going to break it up. Stay tuned. :)

Side note: In my next life, I'm going to be a designer (and a nurse). I love design. I have such a strong passion for it. I can't even put in to words the feeling I get when I create something I'm proud of. I wish I could make a living doing something with it. As I'm sure you've noticed, the blog has a whole new look. I had so much fun designing it. I did it all. I'm actually a little ashamed that I became so obsessed with it. I couldn't wait to get it done. And I just love owls. And bright colors. Can you tell? There are still a few things I want to change and add, but that's going to have to wait--I'm way behind on posting. I'm working on catching up.

I'm going to pretend that I was totally on top of things and this was posted a week or so after we got home...when in reality, she's almost three months old. Shhh, let's just pretend. I plan to post a monthly update with things that are changing, new things she is doing, etc. I will post pictures then as well. :) I have about 645 ideas of things I want to post, the problem is, I can't find the time to get them typed out. And considering I start back to work in a little over a week, it's not looking good.

So, let's just jump in. Buckle up, this is a LONG one.

There has been SO much going on...so we'll start with the most significant event...the birth of our perfect little miracle. Harper Grace Moore was born at 12:36 p.m. on Friday, July 20, 2012. She weighed 7 pounds, was 19 inches, and had a full head of dark hair. She was is absolutely perfect. Babies truly are miracles. It just amazes me how the whole process works. One moment she was growing inside me, and the next, she's living in our world, breathing on her own, knowing exactly what she needs to do to survive. Amazing.

The day before she was born, Danny took off work and we just spent the day together. We ran errands, got my car washed, packed out bags, and went out on our last date as "Danny and Ashley." We went to an Italian restaurant called Sauce in downtown McKinney. After dinner we went to Paciugo and got some magnificent ice cream and headed back home to make sure we had everything we needed for the hospital.

Because of my asthma, I had known for a while that I was going to have a c-section. I know people have differing opinions about c-sections versus natural labor...but I can't tell you how thankful I am that I had a c-section. Who knows, I could have done it all naturally and been just fine, but it wasn't something I wanted to risk with my asthma. I was confident in my decision to have a c-section, but I couldn't help but wonder how the recovery was going to be. And I know the last place I ever should have looked was online...because it seems like the only people who post about their experiences are those who have horror stories. So once I started reading, I quickly realized it was stupid (I knew it was stupid before I even started, but did it anyway) and instead emailed my sister in law for advice. She was wonderful. I knew that everyone's experience was different, everyone heals differently, has different levels of pain tolerance, etc. But she made me feel so much better about it. Without her during this whole process (being pregnant as well as actually having the baby), I would have been a clueless nut. Instead, I was just a nut. She answered so many questions and helped with so many things...I'm so thankful I had her to go to throughout this. Her job isn't over--now that Harper is here, I've got more questions than I did before she was born. I suppose that's normal. I'm still wondering why babies don't come with manuals. It would make this process a whole lot smoother. Then again, I guess that's part of parenting...learning what you're doing while you're doing it.

I went off on a tangent. The point for me bringing up the c-section was to say how nice it was to have everything planned out and organized. We didn't have to rush to get anything packed (assuming she didn't come early). For those of you who know me--this was good for me. I'm a freak when it comes to being organized and I'm extremely anal. If I had gone in to labor early and not been able to follow our "plan," I would have been a mess. God must know me pretty well considering how it all worked out. :)

Back to the night before...it was the strangest feeling going to bed that night. I can't describe how it felt to go to bed knowing that this was the last night that I would not be responsible for anyone other than myself. It was the last night I would get a "full" night of sleep. It was the last night I would have a little human kicking around inside me. I had a feeling I wouldn't sleep well--everyone told me I wouldn't. Wrong! I slept like a champ! I didn't wake up once before my alarm went off.

Getting out of bed that morning was...weird. I was getting up so that I could get ready to go to the hospital to have a baby. That's when it really hit me...WE'RE HAVING A BABY TODAY. Today. In like two hours. We took our last weekly picture and went and had our neighbor take a picture of us together before we left for the hospital. After we packed the car--which was ridiculous, you would have thought we were moving in--Danny said, "So, uh...you wanna go have a baby?" I'll never forget that moment.

39 Weeks - Holy Cow!

Once we got to the hospital--you would have thought we were moving in--we headed upstairs to labor and delivery. We had so much stuff, however, I am proud to say that I didn't forget anything. :) The took us back into the pre-op/recovery room where I got dressed in my fancy little gown and got all hooked up to the monitors. They mentioned that I should thank Dr. Riegel for putting us in the largest, nicest recovery room they have. It was fantastic! When we went on a tour of the hospital and they showed us the recovery rooms, we were both curious how anyone was going to fit in that room. They were tiny. Little did we know, they had a bigger one just for us. :) 

This gave D and I a little time to ourselves before all the craziness began. He even took some lovely pictures...as much as I hate them because I look huge ginormous, I'm glad we have them.Those are the last few pictures of us before our lives changed forever... 

No, I wasn't having triplets--just one. :)

Just the two of us.

And then it got C-R-A-Z-Y! We were so thankful to have so many people there to experience this with us. Before that day, I wasn't sure if we were going to have people come back before hand, but I'm so glad we did. It was such an emotional time for so many people...it was a wonderful experience.

My sister-in-law made shirts for my nephews to wear--they were a huge hit! So precious. I was very curious to see how the boys would react to the hospital setting/meeting their new cousin. Greyson wasn't a fan of the wires and hospital bed--he kind of stayed away and just stared at me...whereas Preston wasn't phased. He climbed up in the bed for some lovin' and some pictures. As much as I didn't want pictures of myself--I'm thrilled that we got so many before we went back to the OR. It was such a special time. We have such an incredible family.

Harper's Homies

Dr. Riegel

Poppi

About to make this lady a Grandma!

Cupcakes from Lolli

Brothers

I am so thankful that Dr. Riegel was responsible for 

bringing our precious angel into this world.

D & Lolli waiting to go in the OR.

Scrubin'--I'm so thankful she got to be in the delivery room.

Several weeks before HG was due, my mom told me that Chris (doctor) had said that only one person would be allowed in the delivery room. So of course, that would be Danny. I was really bummed that my mom wasn't going to be able to be in there. I really wanted her to be in there to take pictures, but I also wanted her in there because, well...she's my mom. Sometimes you just need your mom there. However, there was nothing I could do to change it...so after being bummed for a little while, I got over it and realized that it would still be just as special, we just wouldn't have many pictures.

And then, God happened. My mom called me a week or two before D-Day and said that Chris has asked the head hancho at Plano Presby if his Medical Assistant (my mom), could be in the delivery room as well...as an exception. Bless the man who said yes. :) He has no idea how grateful I am that she was able to be in there with us. She's not the greatest photographer, however, I have to say, she got some pretty incredible pictures that I will cherish forever. Some of them are a little gory, so just scroll past them if you'd like. I, however, think they are amazing. Such a miraculous experience.

As they wheeled me back to the OR, I was a little in shock. I wasn't really sure what I should be thinking. I wasn't nervous, or anxious, or scared...just content. It was a really strange feeling because I'm normally one who is extremely anxious. As the anesthesiologist started the epidural and prepping for the c-section, I was a little weirded out. From my stomach down was completely numb pretty quickly. I can't describe the feeling I had in my body at that time. It wasn't painful. I just felt strange. My brain was telling my legs and feet to move...but nothing was happening. At one point I was sitting there making a conscious effort to move my feet. I was staring at them waiting for them to move because my brain was telling them to. I kept trying to make them move and they continued doing nothing. This eventually made me a little sick to my stomach. I'm not sure why. I don't know if it was because just for a few moments I got a tiny glimpse at how it would feel to be paralyzed (thank you Lord for never having to truly experience paralysis), or if maybe the medicine was just making me sick to my stomach...I don't know. I just know that throughout the whole thing, this was the only thing that really bothered me. I didn't like not being in control of my legs. Since then, I thank God on a daily basis for a healthy body and control of my limbs. I know it sounds silly, but I am so thankful. 

Kissing for the last time before we become parents!

Throughout the whole process, I was continuously impressed at how the hospital staff was able to stay on schedule. They worked so efficiently. We were in good hands. They got started right on time and within minutes, we were made parents. I will never forget listening for her cry. There was so much going on in that freezer little room, but I did everything I could to block it out so I could hear my daughter cry.

I could feel quite a bit of pressure throughout the whole thing, it was pretty strange. At 12:36, this world gained a new little miracle. Harper Grace Moore weighed exactly 7 pounds and was 19 inches long. She had a full head of dark curly hair--exactly what we had prayed for for so long. Her hair was the first thing I asked about when I knew she was out. I remember my mom shouting, "She has so much hair!" Perfect.

Such an incredible picture. My gigantic belly, 

a precious little head, and the umbilical cord.

Our little Monkey

Dr. Riegel and his newest patient.

Getting all cleaned up.

A Little Alien-Like ;)

So beautiful. Look at that hair!

She was helping measure. :) Already a big helper.

Daddy cutting the cord.

7 pounds of perfection.

Precious little face.

The moment I first saw her. It's this picture that makes me so thankful 

my mom was able to be in their to capture this moment.

Our First Family Picture

Complete Admiration

Tears, tears, tears--all happy of course.

After allowing me to love on her for a little bit, they sent Danny with her to the recovery room and finished stitching me up. Once I got to the recovery room, I was able to hold her for the first time. I cannot put into words what an incredible moment this was. I've always assumed that I would love my child the moment I first saw them...but I had no idea that I would be completely and absolutely in love with her right that instant. I pray that everyone (who wishes to) will be able to experience that type of love at some point in their life. It is truly miraculous. 

I will never forget what I saw as they wheeled me into the recovery room...Danny holding his little girl, both of them just staring in to each others eyes, a perfect smile on his face as he admired his daughter.

A Proud New Daddy

I've always been told how special "Skin to Skin" time is, and always just assumed that we would do that. Well, we did, and it was perfect. It was absolutely incredible to have a new little being that I had carried for 9 months, laying on my chest, learning how to live in a whole new world. You could see her adjusting to life outside the womb. It was truly amazing. I will never forget those first few minutes with her. They were so special. It brings me to tears just recounting it.

Our new little family. We are SO very blessed.

After she ate a little and we attempting to take it all in...we slowly started bringing people back to meet her. I thought it was emotional before she was here...I had no idea what was coming. :) So many tears of joy.

Preston meeting his new cousin. He kept saying, "She's so pretty!"

Nana admiring her first Granddaughter. 

Lolli's in love.

Grandpa and HG.

Welcome to the world, little one. 

Grandma's first look.

Pastor Eric prayed over her--one of the most special moments of my life.

Here's a video of the prayer...

We are so thankful that these two were a part of this experience, 

they are so very special to us. She has already been so blessed by them.

Bimmo and his newest lady.

Poppi is smitten.

P lovin' on his cousin.

Aunt T newest obsession.

Uncle T (UT) already giving her words of wisdom.

Aunt Lulu is already obsessed...

Dad's first diaper--I was very impressed considering he 

had always refused to change his nephew's diapers.

Four generations (minus me in bed.)

Grandaddy Jr. meeting HG for the first time.

Pondering something important I'm sure.

Her First Bath

Gettin' her hair did. :)

We had lots of visitors the first few days. We were so thankful for everyone that came up to meet her. Although we loved seeing everyone, it was always nice when we were able to relax and just snuggle with our little one. She was awake every 3 hours for feedings, so we didn't get much sleep--but that was to be expected. We slept when we could. Danny didn't have as much trouble getting sleep...

Here are some miscellaneous pictures from our time at the hospital...it absolutely flew by. We were so blessed by that hospital. We debated if we should deliver at Baylor Frisco or Plano Presby, and I'm so thankful we chose Plano Presby. Every nurse we had was truly incredible. There were several who really made a positive impression with us, but all of them fabulous. We are so thankful for them.

Skin-to-skin with Mama.

Uncle T and Preston

Dr. Riegel

Love this picture!

Mama Lovin'

I remember this moment well. There is no better 

feeling than having her lay on my chest. 

Meeting her Great Grandparents--Grandma and Grandaddy Cook

Great-Mimi

Great-Grandma Patterson

Honorary Uncle James

Poppi

I love this because it looks like she's yelling at Poppi. :)

One of my very favorite pictures. I think this means she will have some 

mad Kung-Fu skills. You better be ready! Can you handle this?

Meeting Uncle Landon

Hearing test--she passed with flying colors.

More Uncle-time.

Another one of my favorite pictures--with my favorite flower.

Happy time with Aunt T. Learning where 

all the cokes and candy are stashed.

Nana-lovin' on her little bear butt.

Skin-to-skin with Daddy--I might have been kicked out of the bed.

Love.

Holding Daddy's finger.

Look at those cheeks! Perfect cheeks, nose, eyes, and mouth.

A Little Piece of Heaven

Her Mama sure does love bows. :)

Delightful. I love her sweet little hands. They are always by her face--which 

is something we noticed in the 4D sonogram several months ago. Love!

Our Little Gangster

I love this picture. Our Pastor took it and mentioned that she looks 

like she is inconspicuously talking about someone to her left. :)

In her little cocoon. This didn't last long because Little Miss insisted 

on having her hands out where she could move them.

The second to last day we were in the hospital, she decided she didn't want to take after her pale mom...she wanted a tan. D and I were holding her one night and we both noticed that she seemed to have a yellow tint on her face. We asked the nurse to test her levels, and sure enough, she was jaundiced. It was a very mild case, they didn't seem concerned at all...but they wanted us to put her under the lamp for our last day there. Now of course, I had heard how common jaundice is, a lot of my friend's babies have had it...but I still got a little overwhelmed when they told us she would need treatment. I knew it was no big deal...but there's a chance that I cried when the nurse left. Okay, there's a chance I didn't even wait until she left. I just broke down. We'll chalk it up to out-of-whack hormones. :) As much as we didn't want to leave her under the heatlamp--this meant we wouldn't be able to hold her and love on her as much--we knew it was the right thing to do. If we had decided not to do the treatment, chances are we would have not been released on time, or ended up back at the hospital with higher levels. 

I'm pretty positive that this whole thing was harder on Danny and I than it was on her. She got frustrated after she had been laying there for a while, and would get the wiggles, thus, knocking off her stylish shades...which meant we had to take them off and readjust. This got old quickly...but we were just afraid that her eyes were going to be damaged if they weren't covered enough. A baby with the wiggles + velcro glasses = restless, anxious parents. We were thrilled when they tested her levels again after being under the lamp--the treatment had worked.

Side note: we asked the doctor if we were able to lay her on our chest and then put the lamp over us. They said that was completely fine, as long as the lamp was covering her. This meant we could be holding her--done! It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it was totally worth every second. There were times where we would fall asleep for two or three hours under the lamp together. I woke up every time sweaty with a terrible headache, but I wouldn't change those moments for the world.

Look at those sweet little hands!

Catchin' some rays with Mom.

Relaxin'. She wasn't too concerned. :)

I LOVE this picture.

Snoozin' on Daddy.

Love that little foot.

After several days of being in the hospital, little girl was losing weight. I know, I know, it's normal for newborns to lose weight in the hospital. However, we were monitoring it each day, and after three days or so, she was losing more than she should have been. This likely meant that she was not getting enough breast milk. The nurses still wanted me to continue nursing, but they also wanted us to start supplementing after each feeding as well. Hormone alert! I immediately broke down and cried again. I wasn't scared or anything, I just felt like I wasn't able to give her what she needed to be healthy. I hated that. I had just brought this little life into the world and I couldn't give her what she needed. Okay, dramatic, I know. Give me a break though, I had just given birth. :) Nursing was something that I've always felt very strongly about. Fortunately, Danny was behind me 100% when it came to the idea of nursing. There are so many unknowns with nursing, and it varies so much from mom to mom. There was no way to tell how much she was getting each feeding...and obviously she wasn't getting enough. What to do, what to do.

After tears and consoling from the husband (he did not have any tears, just did the consoling), I realized that there was nothing I had done wrong. I could not change how much I was producing, how fast it came in, etc. So to end the rambling--here's a picture of Dad feeding our sweet girl her first bottle. She was a big fan. Which reminds me of another crazy-hormone-mom fear I had...I was terrified that once she was fed out of a bottle, she was not going to want to nurse anymore. We took a breastfeeding class in June, and this was something that they really stressed. Unless you absolutely have to, don't bottle feed because it could cause confusion. This scared me to death considering how badly I wanted to be able to nurse. So as you can imagine, when they told us we needed to supplement, my whole nursing world came crashing down. [I'm trying to make it sound a little more dramatic than it actually was. I only cried for a little while then got over it. Sort of.]

Daddy feeding her first bottle.

Her hands make me laugh in this picture.

It turns out I wasn't completely wrong...after we began supplementing, she wasn't too keen on nursing. This meant she had to work harder to eat...and who wants to do that? Babies aren't stupid...they know they want the easy way to get food, they don't want to work for it. And to be honest, I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to do it either. Just give me a bottle and we'll call it a day.

Long story short a little shorter--I ended up pumping for about 6 weeks. I pumped every three hours, yes, even in the middle of the night, for those 6 weeks. We rented a hospital grade pump that worked wonders...at least until I stopped producing enough. At that point, she had been getting breast milk about half the time. It was so much work, which I wasn't opposed to. However, it got to be too much when I was producing so little. There were times that I would be pumping in the middle of the night and I would fall asleep. It just wasn't working. And here we are...now she's only on formula. And I'm completely okay with that. (D is too, in case you were wondering.)

As much as I wanted to nurse, having to be there/awake/alert for every feeding made using formula not so bad. This meant that dad could feed her...and I could sleep, and vice versa. See, everybody wins. Yay formula.

I will say that was the one negative thing we had with the hospital. Texas Health hospitals are extremely pro-nursing. It's not just that they encourage it, they almost force it...and then make you feel like a horrible person and your baby isn't going to be normal if you don't nurse. That was one reason I was so nervous about supplementing. I was afraid that lactation consultants were going to throw me out the window if they knew nursing wasn't going well. I was scared to death to let them in the room because I didn't want to get lectured about how nursing was so much better for the baby, yadda yadda yadda. What about those babies that don't latch? Or the moms that don't produce enough? Formula babies are fine. Just fine. Hey, I was breastfed and I have horrendous allergies. So there, lactation consultants! Take that! (Okay, I'm off my soap box.) The moral of the story: having to supplement was a blessing in disguise. The Lord works in mysterious ways...

The morning we went home.

Lolli time.

Getting some lovin' from Daddy.

One of my favorite pictures. My two favorite people.

I love our little family. Even when I'm lookin' a little rough.

Sweet Angel

Ready to go home. Her outfit was a little big.

Tiny baby in a big seat!

All bundled up.

On our way out the door...now with a little baby in tow!

This guy has no idea how his life was just taken over by 

flowers and girly things. Get ready, Daddy.

Waiting at the curb.

Beautiful

Blurry--but it was the first time she smiled that we caught on camera.

Daddy admiring his little princess the first few minutes we were home.

To be honest, things couldn't be better. We have truly cherished these last 11 weeks. She continue to make us smile, laugh, and even wonder what in the world we're doing. We've both decided that there is nothing better then seeing that beautiful little face smile. She's a miracle. She's the answer to so many prayers and we are so grateful for her. We are learning new things every day. We're learning what works, what doesn't, what she likes, and what makes her mad. Let's just say our lives are completely different than they were 11 weeks ago. We wouldn't change it for the world. We both thought we knew true love...but we had no idea. We didn't know to love something with our entire being. It's a pretty incredible feeling. I fall in love with her every time I see her sweet face or hear her grunting noises. (She is SO very noisy.) I love those sounds. They melt my heart. 

I'm slightly concerned because now that I'm a mother...it's like nothing else matters. Don't get me wrong, I will always be a hard worker and I will always give 110% at work...however, she is my priority. My never-ending list of things to do at work just doesn't seem so important anymore. Things that I thought were vital now don't have much meaning in comparison. My world revolves around her. She is my world. My mind is constantly on her, wondering how I can love her more. I can't keep my hands off of her. So often throughout the day, I find myself just staring at her, wondering how in the world I was blessed with her. My heart will never be the same. It is overflowing with love and adoration. I'm completely obsessed. And I'm perfectly okay with that. 

I couldn't ask for a better partner in parenting (that was corny, I know). I love every second of watching Danny with her. He is smitten. More on that later. :)

If you actually stuck around this long and actually made it to the end...I owe you. You are a trooper. And you must really love this little girl. Welcome to the club.